In this review, we will be taking a look at Deadpool from the eyes of Deadpool himself, as if we were him (and we’re not). Have fun and let us know what you think in the comments!
Hahaha!!! Time to review, well, me! That’s right mother fu$%^&s! The most innocent evil super hero ever made! Well, aside from Deathstroke, since my character’s concept was stolen from him; except the fact that my character is much more exciting, fun, better looking, and the ladies have told me I am much more “well equipped” for the job. Sorry Deathstroke! According to your ex-wife, the only thing you are stroking is…well nothing since you have nothing to stroke…
But, anyway, enough about me! Let’s talk about what Activision did to me! They made me into a f%&^@#^ game!!! Someone thought I was important enough, not only to make a movie, but make an entire game about me! I heard it set a world record in sales, but they keep me in the dark on that kind of stuff. After all, I am the most underpaid super hero villain guy person.
So, the question you must be wondering by now is, “How is my game?” Well, sit down, shut up, and read… assuming you know how of course.
Blue Ball Score: 20 out of 25 balls
Well, I am pretty easy to control. How hard is it to use two thumb sticks and a few buttons? The only complaint here is that sommmmmmebody (*cough cough* High Moon Studios) decided to make players use the D-pad way more than I ever recommended. I mean, I get that I enjoy using my “D” pad all the time, but come on, gamers can barely find theirs half the time. The point is that my “D” pad over complicates things a bit here.
What about my mechanics? Does it really feel like you are playing like, well, me? Funny you should ask! Of course it feels like you are playing me! Who else would it feel like? Deathstroke? Fine, I will try to be serious for a sentence or two. Personally, I don’t think that they accurately portrayed my abilities. After all, I can do absolutely anything because I am simply that awesome! But, I suppose that it is technically realistic and not too “over the top.” Whatever that means..
Finally, I want to mention that I insisted that MY game be FUN!!! As the Founder, CEO, and President of the FUN Club, I wanted to ensure that my game would have absolutely no competition among other players. And, for once, they actually listened to Deadpool! I don’t know why I am speaking about myself in the third person… Did I just break the fifth wall?
Anyway, I give my gameplay a grand total of 4 / 5 balls.
P.S: Reduce the usage of the “D” pad…
Unfortunately, the script Activision wrote up and forcibly made me follow isn’t as good as my idea above, but it isn’t terrible either. Long story short, this “big wig” media guy called me a stinky poo-poo head, I went to kill him, and this Sinister villain killed him first. And, that obviously rubbed my “D” pad the wrong way, so I decided to go after him and ask him why he did such a mean thing to me? Unfortunately, the player didn’t make it past that so I can’t really say anything else…
Finally, my plot is easy to freaking follow. I told Activision that we need to make this game’s storyline simple yet elegant. My fans aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box, so we need to make it easy to follow and understand. If we add too many twists and turns, it will confuse me and this will in turn confuse the player. Quite frankly, the twist at the beginning of the game with this Sinister villain was enough to confuse me…
I think I stay true to character in my own game. I did my best to help you relate and connect to me emotionally. I gave you an insight into a side of me that nobody else sees – the sarcastic, passive aggressive, witty man behind the mask.
For these reasons, I give my campaign a perfect 5/5 balls.
P.S: Pay attention to how the word “Sinister” is used.
So what replaced it? If there is no multiplayer, then this game sucks Deadpool! If you are an ignorant, self-centered multiplayer junkie then yes. Leave now. But! If you are a little more open-minded than that, read on my friend. Read on.
Challenges! Challenges replaced multiplayer! Now, what better thing to add in my game than more killing?! Simply put, the game mode “Challenges” gives you a certain time limit to kill three different waves of enemies. If you don’t kill them within that time period, you lose. And you suck. I didn’t mean that… I’m sorry. I was just thinking of … your mom. Ha! You fell for it…
Of course, we added in varying difficulties to really spice things up in this game mode. Alright, alright. Fine I admit it. Challenges aren’t necessarily an adequate replacement for a multiplayer. We were on a tight budget for Christ’s sake! There are several different challenge levels, so we have that going for us, right?
As I always tell my girlfriends (plural) in regards to our sex lives (plural), you should be happy that we (plural. I know I am freaky) even tried! 3/5 balls.
P.S: F^%# YOU! You overly competitive, needy, judgmental gamers…
Audio? You hear my voice and my commentary. What else do you want? Ok enough with the selfishness Deadpool. The crisp sounds of my blade severing through my enemies’ spinal cord sounds accurate in my game. Trust me, I’m an expert. My guns sounded glorious as well – enough said. Finally, I sounded like me. Does that even make sense? Activision really hit the head on the d%$@ here. They nailed my character about as well as I nailed those zombie strippers I mentioned earlier. After they were cured of course…
In conclusion (who the hell says that anymore), I think Activision did pretty well here. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? Get a bigger budget Activision and make my game look better! 3/5 balls.
P.S: If you decide to take my advice here, please keep my package the same size.
P.S: The objective and goal of my game is to have fun and kill people. Nothing more. Quit being a prick.
Alright, so you heard it straight from the wHorses mouth. Deadpool is a kick ass mother trucking game. The goal of me is to be fun, kill people, and laugh at my pain. Quite literally. When I get my head chopped off, pass out, and wake up with a body again it is funny. Laugh you tight ass…
My game is simple, fun, easy to learn, and one of the best “change of pace” games ever made. Although my graphics may be lacking in detail and the multiplayer is non-existent, we did the best we could with what we had (speaking about the budget and the budget alone). If you don’t like my game then F$%# you. You are probably a weird nerd that doesn’t have a girlfriend, life, or house. Make sure to tell your mom to make me a sandwich too.
P.S: For those who can’t do math, a grand total of 20 / 25 balls.